If You Die In An Elevator, Be Sure To Push The Up Button

"I am full of hashbrowns and other fatty foods and I am angry."
-Kristen

"I love balls."
-Kristina

"He could blow me with that hair."
-John (about Adam)

"I have a very cute freckle that I don't want my nostrils hiding."
-Bryce

"What kind of sex can you have while you're also throwing someone's backpack into the living room?"
-Me

"I was wiping my face free of cat hair. ... I was just making out with my cat. Leave me alone!"
-Me

"I may or may probably am drunk."
-Bryce

"Let's take a hostage! We don't have jobs. That's what the unemployed do, right?"
-Bryce

"Don't you always want a hamburger?"
-Bryce

"Not everybody's responsible enough for coffee, Evelyn."
-B

"Looks like Jamie Foxx did a better Ray Charles than Ray Charles himself."
-B

"WIth great power comes great... Sex."
-Jim Hardwick

"I know what I know. I know some things I don't know. Those are the known unknowns. Then there are the unknown unknowns. I don't know those."
-Jim Hardwick