"I think Wal Mart is where dreams go to die...or where Mexican women go to puke in the twenty items or less lane."
-Me
"I would not flake in your mouth!"
-Bryce
"I drooled up my nostril."
-Anthony
"I need to get drunk next rehearsal so that I can cry."
-Me
"I only punched one person. That's called being a good sport."
-Bryce
"What? What were you so excited about twenty minutes ago that made you so distracted that you were a bad active listener?"
-Kyle
"My mice like beer. And Alias."
-Me
"When you're dancing on a Buick, it gets really hot."
-Some drunk guy having a dance party in the middle of the Del Taco drive-thru.
"YOU SEEM PRETTY CHIPPER."
-Bryce
"I think my cat is allergic to me."
-Me
"My lip is no longer flexible. This is depressing."
-Greg
"I would gladly sponge a nurse."
"Everybody wins in a booby-holding contest."
-Me
"Does weed age like wine?"
-Sam
"It is perhaps time for you to admit that you were too stoned to hear me."
-Tiffany
"'You should really read Hamlet' is the worst pick-up line EVER."
-Sam
"Spit."
-Spencer
"I might have sex again sometime. That'd be cool."
-Michele
"Find a man a mermaid, he slaps you with shit."
-Christopher
"Put your butt on this glass real quick."
-Bryce
"Was one named Jeffrey? Because that's what I'd name an alligator."
-Bryce
