Party On, Wayne

"Smiling with their teeeeeeeeeeth."
-Justin Bradley

"Speaking of Black people, I have a racist dick."
-Dillion Barker

"Basically the only person I like is Voldemort."
-Dillion Barker

"All White people look the same."
-Fe

"Oh my god your ass makes cymbal noises. I don't want to freak you out--it does."
-Justin Bradley

"You threw some pants, you don't have to go on a run today."
-Some girl to her boyfriend.

"I'm very particular about my ice cream. I want it icy. And creamy. ... And that's about it."
-Taylor Lawrence

"I need to use my bigger spoon. I don't want to starve while I'm eating."
-Taylor Lawrence

"All I see when I look at a bagel is bread that has smoked a lot of pot."
-Jim Hardwick

"Will there be toast in Vegas, do you think?"
-Justin Bradley

"Maybe it's coordinates to a treasure. Or a sex dungeon."
-Justin Bradley

"He's too ethnic for that look. Makes him look like a genie."
"My mother was a genie. Bastard."
-Me, Dillion Barker

"I want vodka to get me pregnant."
-Justin Bradley

"I prefer the horizontal polka myself."
"That's because you prefer older men."
-Me, Justin Bradley

"Bugs Bunny is the reason I'm gay."
-Justin Bradley

"You seem to be suffering under the delusion that I have low self-esteem. I don't. I fucking love myself. I want a clone of me so I can fuck it."
-bryce Kamryn

"It's been taken away from you. You've lost your pot privileges."
-Me

"You guys are doing, like, mating rituals of strange animals."
-Dillion Barker

"I think it's because I put glasses on. He's more confident in my sexual prowess."
-Justin Bradley

"I'm like, touching your face but it's the other one."
-Bryce Kamryn

Gems From Vegas 2012 Spring Trip

"I would watch this mimosa strip."
-Bryce Kamryn

"I think my clothes grew while I was here."
"I think they just scattered."
"I think they got horny."
-Bryce Kamryn, Dillion Barker

"Did I just think that Ted Bundy was cute? Did that just happen?"

"My tits. Don't. Move."

"It's so Luxorious."
-Greg Burbank

"It feels like there is an uncooked can of soup in my foot and that is what I am walking on."
-Justin Braadley

"Does anyone else feel the room moving?"
-Jason Bunker

"You sleep better on a pressed pillowcase. You just do, ok? I'm gay, I'm allowed to say things like that. Ball-sack."
-Dillion Barker

"There's a difference between sweet and having one of the members of the lollipop guild ejaculate in your mouth."
-Me.

"I need to take a bath. If I get gassy will you just pretend that the jets will come on for a split second?"
-Justin Bradley

"Why are you in the tub?"
"Because I'm pretending it's a uterus. I thought I'd be reborn today. Now carry me down the strip."
-Justin Bradley

"I feel like I'm coming out a birth canal."
-Me

"I'll help you up."
"No, I meant in. In...dividual."
-Jason Bunker

"This isn't a sorry ass."
-Jason Bunker

"He won't get off the floor until we toast in every language."
-Justin Bradley (about Jason Bunker)

"Prince is a guy. Princess are girl."
-Jason Bunker

"That is a blessing."
"What is?"
"Peeing. Not everyone can pee."
-Jason Bunker

"It's like a roller coaster ride!"
-Jason Bunker (as Justin dragged him across the floor.)

"Cheers to tuna fish. ... I hate tuna fish. Cheers to Japanese mayonnaise."
-Jason Bunker

"I will drink it. Because kids in Africa would die to have this."
-Jason Bunker

"What a waste of eye humping."
-Justin Bradley (upon learning that Penelope Cruz was a woman.)

"If I throw up here, I'm going to kill myself."
"That's...a slight overreaction."
-Bryce Kamryn, Justin Bradley

"I don't eat salad. That's what food eats."
-Justin Bradley

"I'm waiting for the porn commercial to come back."
-Greg Burbank

"Ew, stop with the toe-fucking."
-Justin Bradley

"We're in the Luxor, we should do something Egyptian."
"Well, I'm texting Sphinx."
-Dillion Barker, Me

"I am SO Vegas-popular right now."
-Justin Bradley

"Don't make jokes, Elise. Not about television."
-Greg Burbank

"Is this what the Hulk's penis looks like?"
-Greg Burbank

"Oh my god. There's a penis next to my ear."
-Any of us at one point or another

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Is happening right here.
-Dillion Barker

"I just want to beat you every time I see you. There's that Elise. Why do I feel a sudden rage?"
-Greg Burbank

"I don't usually miss."
-Me (On peeing.)

"Roofies are fine as long as there's sex involved."
-Bryce Kamryn

"You're supposed to catch it, not suck it."
-Dillion Barker

"It's a laptop, it's meant to be flung."
-Dillion Barker

"Who wants to go to freaky fetish night? They will whip you and not in the good way."
-Dillion Barker

"They will take off your clothes and replace them with press on nails. They will eat Indian food out of your navel."
-Justin Bradley

"What holiday does your underwear represent? Hmmm.... Rosh hashanah."
-Justin Bradley

"Jasoooooooooon! Get drunk, motherfucker!"
-Justin Bradley

"What's that underwear made of? Paint? Put it on, then come out and do a twirl!"
-Justin Bradley

"What? I don't speak toothbrush."
-Greg Burbank