Oy Vey, Farshikkert

"I've always preferred clubs."
"I like spades myself."
"Well, that's the national past time, liking spades. That's why I like clubs. I root for the underdog."
-A conversation between Justin Bradley and myself.

"Well. The beer can talk all about being hardcore and the vanilla soda can talk about how everyone loves it."
-John Baker

"Does anyone have a cigar I can borrow? I'll get on my knees and smile like a doughnut."
-Robert Balkin

"He's not bisexual, he's dyslexic."
-Justin Bradley

"I didn't ask."
"Yeah, you were not asking very loudly."
-Tiffany Greathouse

He Said What Now?

"You're talking like you're in an emotional wheelchair."
-Jim Hardwick

"My crotch is burning with the fire of a thousand five layer burritos."
-Justin Bradley

"It's like there's disembodied goblins inside this chair."
-Justin Bradley

"I hate the phrase, 'agree to disagree.' It's just code for, 'shut the fuck up.'"
-Me

"I know how to find a dictionary, I just don't know what that word means."
-Greg Burbank (Masters in Library Sciences.)

"He's not dead, he's just Hispanic."
-Justin Bradley

"I'll lick anything with chocolate on it."
-Bryce Kamryn

"That awkward moment when someone says they don't like your cat...and then you realize that you don't like THEM anymore."
-Me

"I've never looked up at a hot air balloon and thought, 'Gee, I wish I was in there.'"
-Me

"I had sex with people that bit me and I'm pretty sure they were werewolves, so we'll see if I turn into a sloth tonight."
-Bryce Kamryn