"I'm going to trial because you don't understand what a blooper reel is?"

"People McNuggets!"
-Marjaan

"Looks like we're on the same brave length."
"Is that like a courage quotient?"
-Marjaan, My dad.

"What's the old saying? Don't fuckin' touch a fuckin' sleeping baby. Or you'll fuck yourself over. I think that's in Leviticus."
-Andrea

"I got awarded Most Improved Student two years running."
-Jared Greathouse

"I thought you were dancing with me."
"I was. That's how I get to the fridge."
-Tiffany, Jared

"In what town did The Witches of Eastwick take place?"
"......Eastwick."
-Trivia Game, Me.

"Who cares if you're temple worthy? All that matters is if you're gin worthy."

"It's a bogus threat. Gay people don't commit crime. Other than smoking pot. And sodomy."
-Jim

"I was looking at your piercing and I thought I had one."
-Russell

"Why would you say snail? Who thinks about snails?"
-Russell

"I've gotta go bowling. That's the funnest. No. Too much moving."
-Bryce

"I can't read right now, you guys. I just read, 'Navajo Boyfriend Taco.'"
-Russell