A Collection Of Mitch.

"Guys, get out of my way. I've been needing to pee for like...15 minutes, and it's not getting any better."

"Dude. That's a bad habit. Droppin' one off and then you're like, 'See you later.' And then you find a turd three hours later....Now THAT'S a reason to get upset."

"My asshole stinks in a bad way. Except when I'm fresh out of the shower. But you know that, Jesse."

"I HAVE a giant knife."

"No, it's not me. I'm not talking."

"I think I broke it. So my story is I fell down the stairs and it broke off. I just hope it doesn't blow up."

"He's 25, she's 29. She calls him 'Young Dude.' I don't even know what his fucking name is."

ME: "It's you!"
MITCH: "It's me. Good thing you didn't say that to another person or they might have mistaken themselves for someone else."


-Mitch.